What Is Wrong With Us!

  Do any of you have those friends that just bring the dirty out in you? Oh hell I do! I just haven't decided if I'm that friend or my friends are that friend. I think we just feed off each other and it just escalates from there! But we have fun, and gross everyone out in the process! My Shelley she loves making people smell nasty things. Like sticking her finger in her sweaty, stank ass belly button to share for the world to smell! Once she did just that and told me to smell it. Of course I'm gonna smell it! I'm like the puss, curiosity always gets the better of me! It smelled like a dirty foot mixed with a sour ass! "ACK!" So I stick my finger in my belly and make her smell. I'm sure it smelled like some dirty ass chode. She also swiped it under our buddies nose he stopped what he was doing and whispered "was that your pussy?" Oh my God dude what kind of pune have you been smelling? 

  We were in Jackpot Nevada with a group of friends. We decided we loved riding the bus from casino to casino. Watching the drunks get on and off was hilarious! People watching is our thang. We were on one of our rounds around the block, and everyone had cleared the bus but us and a man that looked like a bull frog. This dude was sitting in the front of the bus looking creeeeepy! You have to know this about Shelley she has volume control and staring problems, her whispers and stares are for everyone to hear and see. When she spots creepy dude she "WHISPERS" "oh my god raaapist" I say, "Shelley shhh!" Next thing I know she says "oh my god he's looking!" Oh for shit sake! "you think?!" The dude gets off at our stop, go figure! She almost got us killed! Ha not really but I love to remind her of that.
Shelley is very persuasive I don't know how I get her to talk me into things! I was driving us home one night after chilling with a old co-worker. We passed another co-workers house and saw him in his kitchen cooking. Dude loves his food! My stupid ass points it out. So of course Shelley makes me pull the truck over so we can sneak up to his window and scare him. I say "hell no" she says, "Casual NOW!" we argue in his driveway for what seems like forever. Finally she says, "Casual get your ass over here right now!" I just know we are gonna get called in for peeping! But my ass goes! <<  I'm such a pushover!

We get to the house and he turns toward the window, Shelley says, "get down" My ass is slow and he makes eye contact with me. Here I am looking like a deer caught in the headlights. Finally I wave my best Forrest Gump wave and smile like a retard in a room full of bouncy balls. I get, "Casual? Is that you?" Yup it's me! They call me Peepy McPeekins. I then point to Shelley who is plastered to the side of the house like a gecko. He then asks, "can you see my underwear?" Eww gross no! I tell him I can only see from his belly up. He gets a relieved look on his face and then asks if we wanna have some bacon. HAHAHA! Dude loves his bacon! Of course we decline and then leave him to his midnight snack!

 

 

                                                            What is wrong with us!!