Just Nassy!

 When someone has bad breath, some people just ignore it. How do you ignore something like bad breath, sometimes its so bad you find yourself holding your hand over your nose subconsciously. Or is that just me? I mean really can you not taste that the nasty yard gnome came and took a shit in your mouth?! Waking up in the morning its like you've been tossing salad in your sleep! I found it easier to just hand them a piece of gum with "the look"or just bluntly put it so there is no misinterpretation. Its a little harder with strangers though, I think I just prefer to walk away. WHAT? I never said I was perfect! Hell! I don't want to have to sit there and converse and smell shit at the same time!

"Tossing salad" I never understood that phrase. Why would you incorporate fresh greens with licking a starfish? GROSS! I mean seriously, who wants to put there tongue on a poop shoot! Just wrong...but as long as my man isn't playing at my back door I'm cool. Awesome quote from Forgetting Sarah Marshall " Let me just say that if God was a city planner he would not put a playground next to a sewage system" or "god put mouths on our head for a reason!" Check it! So funny!

How about when you sneeze and blow ass at the same time? Now this is why I have learned to sneeze really loud so the ass blow is somewhat covered. I'm not saying this is full proof plan! Or how about after you shit air in your pants and then start laughing and every time you laugh your ass squawks. Now those are funny! The butt burner variety those are just wrong! They burn coming out and then they burn the nose breathing in. they have also put my man in the fetal position many times! Ha! Oh he is so not perfect he has this sneaky technique where he blows ass under the covers and then he repositions in bed and waifs the sick smell my way....COMMON! Do you really think I don't know what your doing, babe! Wait! Is it true that you can get pink eye from someone farting on your pillow? Oh god! Is he gonna give me pink eye?!